Its…

Its nights like these where, 

I wonder if anything is ever going to get better…

Its nights like these where, 

I wonder if I am ever going to be able to move forward with my life…

Its nights like these where, 

I wonder when its going to stop, the calls, the texts, the anger, the hatred…

Angerness fills my soul in moments like these, 

Its moments like these where I want to just want to run away…

Run away from her. 

Run away from the anger, and the sadness. 

Tiring. 

Tiring to have these feelings and emotions day after day, night after night. 

I feel like I am breaking into a million pieces, and never have the chance to be put together. 

Hatred text messages dont solve the problem. 

Telling someone you hate them over, and over again doesnt solve the problem. 

Telling yourself you are over her and dont need her wont solve the problem. 

Nothing will ever solve the problem, 

until 

she

is 

gone

for 

good

Until then, I guess I can be fine. 

Just fine. 

 

In a blink of an eye…

And just like that within one heartbeat

one blink of an eye

one short, swallow, hot breath

 my life is turned upside down

 

those three words that we long to hear

I love you

turn to

I hate you

 

All that work

All that hope

Everything down the drain

Secretly wishing it will clog and life will stand still

just

for

A

moment

 

Yet again.

Those words slither back into my life

everything will be fine

shes still your mother

shes a good person

 

all I want to do is go back to that moment

the moment before everything drastically spiraled out of control

to that heartbeat if I could grasp it

or hold my breath just for a moment

things may be normal

 

and my life will return right side up

 

foolish.

I am a fool for believing

A fool for wishing

And a fool for wasting empty tears

 

Life will never be normal.

I will always be upside down.